me and bipolar

6/29/22               

me and bipolar draft 1

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 24. Actually,

I diagnosed myself, but it turns out to have been an accurate diagnosis. During

my 2nd hospitalization, being treated for depression, I was unhappy

with my medication regimen and suggested to my doctor that I might be bipolar

and asked to be treated as such. She wasn’t happy with my request but agreed to

try me on lithium. It wasn’t exactly like a switch went off and I was like

“eureka!” immediately upon taking it for the first time, but I definitely

noticed a positive shift and most importantly felt better and was able to

sleep.

I had been having sleep difficulties off and on since I was

19. It was getting to the point that I rarely had a “normal” good-night’s

sleep. Often, this would be accompanied by an elevated mood shift and what felt

like a drug-induced high of some sort. I had no clear idea of what was going on

with me, but I was beginning to suspect I might be bipolar.

I had a good friend in one of my support groups who was very

open about being bipolar, and some of my symptoms seemed to jibe with his. I met

him when I was 20, and the idea of being bipolar myself continued to grow in

the back of my mind until that fateful day when I was 24.